Hello, i am back

Hello,

You know that nervousness you feel when you see or about to see perhaps an old friend after loosing contact for years? When you are not sure if you will still "click", when you are wondering if he or she has changed, or perhaps, you are the one that has changed? Well, some may know this feeling and some may not.

What has that got to do with me? Well, i sort of feel that way right now. I have been away from Neeollas Corner for so long, i do not know how to stage my come back post. I do not know how to start or what to say, trust me whatever you are reading now is the aftermath of lots of typing and deleting. I think owe an apology to all the friends, loved ones and audience that have faith in me and looked forward to my posts. I am sorry, i really am. I was away for a reason or two, within, and beyond my power.

Okay one of the main reasons i didn't post anything at some point was because of PRESSURE. Yes you read it right, not pressure from anybody but from myself. I put undue pressure on myself and i stopped typing or writing. This medium brain (i presume it's medium sized) has processed a lot of  ideas, stories, etc but i kept telling myself: it's not good enough, its not the right post, it's not the right time for this post, would it be appropriate etc.? On Facebook, i used to post random thoughts, experience, one-liners etc without thinking twice about it. It was my page, i was free and i think based on that, a number of friends encouraged me to put pen to paper, or should i say fingers on keyboard.

With Neeollas Corner, subconsciously, i stifled myself, i have a larger audience, (hopefully) so i wanted perfection, i set standards for myself and refused to post anything that falls below my imaginary standards.

So what has changed, i asked myself recently? I am the same person, Neeollas corner is as much my space as any of my social media pages. I had to talk to, and remind myself, i am not in competition with anyone. I write, or scribble because i enjoy it, and also because i have been encouraged by close family and friends to keep at it. Would i write if no one was reading it? Yes i will and i do. I scribble on notepads, my phone. I can't help it, it is what i do. But just because of the exposure, i allowed myself to be intimidated into silence. However, i have decided to keep at it, some days i will have interesting posts, some days dull or no post, some days long post and other days, i might just post a smiley to say i am very much around.

The essence of this long post is to encourage myself and others alike to learn to let go of inhibitions. Whoever and wherever you are, don't be stifled by the desire to fit in, to compete with another or impress people. Sometimes, the people are not even looking, but busy dealing with their own inner battles.

In the words of India Arie.."Just do you". Whatever it is you love or are passionate about, go ahead and do it, as long as it does not involve hurting another soul, and it is not any form of civil, moral or religious crime. Quit worrying about society, and what the ifs. The only thing that does, is stifle you.

That dream you have been chasing, if resources permit go right ahead and live it. It may or may not work as planned, ovation may or may not come. But the good feeling you get cannot be taken from you.

Okay, so after all is said and done, i want ovations, sitting, standing, clapping name it all. Yes we all can do with a word of encouragement.

Please read my next post, it is a somewhat personal and emotional one for me.