Hi,

Thank you for visiting this page and reading this post, this will be a long read, but i will really really appreciate if you read through it all.

This post is about a former colleague and friend of mine, Tessy.  Tessy and I were colleagues at my first job. At the time, we weren't quite close perhaps due to our different personalities. Tessy is reserved while i can be quite the opposite. Over the years, most of my then colleagues, have gone beyond colleagues to friends, infact we have become some sort of family unit. A family unit to which Tessy belongs. Yes, Tessy is reserved, but she is very smart, strong, has a good sense of humour, and a lover of food, especially Amala like me.

Both our last pregnancies were about the same time, we used to compare notes on baby bump, weight gain, work-life balance etc. We used to jokingly refer to one another as inlaws because our babies are of opposite sex. Months after childbirth we resumed discussing weight loss plans that won't stop us eating Amala. From time to time we chat and catch up either on bbm or when we see.

Not to bore you, i realized one day that i hadn't seen or heard from Tessy in a while, and i was told the sad news that she was diagnosed of breast cancer and traveled to receive treatment in U.S. I was shocked beyond words, i remember crying as i drove home that day. I worried, cried and prayed for her recovery, but i was too scared to even talk to, or send her a message. It took another friend's intervention before Tessy and I got talking again. Tessy told me, she didn't say a word about it to me because she knew i couldn't handle it. And yes she was right, i was unlike Tough cookie Tessy. She is one of the strongest persons i know, her resilience is unbelievable. She was strong, she had hope, and to the glory of God she fought and defeated cancer. She was declared cancer free late last year and resumed work in December 2015 or sometime thereabout.

I remember vividly how i drove excitedly to her office on her first day back at work, the office had a kind of welcome do for her. Everyone was happy, pictures were taken etc. Life was back to normal, Tessy and i continued our irregular chats and talks, we planned to have an Amala date, and thereafter resume the weight loss journey when she was ready.  Office was the easy and lazy route for me, but, I kept planning to pay her a visit at home, but i didn't because of the crazy Lekki- Ajah traffic.

So there i was, still postponing my promise to visit, and our Amala date, when i got the shocking news that she had to return to the U.S because of cancer. The cancer was back, or got worse, whatever it is i don't even want to understand it. All i know is Tessy is battling cancer and needs money for treatment. If Tessy had her way, not a soul will know about her battles, but as it is, she needs help, huge help for that matter. She needs about $250,000 to cover surgery and associated treatment.

Friends and family have tried to support, but there is only so much we can do, without crowd funding. A gofundme account has been set up for her: https://www.gofundme.com/2wjg42as .
Direct payments can be made to her zenith bank account in Nigeria: 2020255462- Theresa Amadi-Obi.
This is a call to help, whatever you can do, will go a long way, no amount too little. This is not just an appeal for funds, but we need to reach a very large audience, don't stop at donating, help share Tessy's story.

To be honest, drafting this post made me cry, i had to pause on it for couple of days. I decided to share Tessy's story, hoping to reach a large crowd, and also because people are understandably wary about what or who they don't know. People have asked me if, and how i know Tessy. Tessy's story is as real as can be, to be honest, it is as close to home as can be for me and most of my then colleagues. I don't know anything about Tessy that ideally should put her at risk. But then i am not sure cancer is targeted at specific people. She didn't see this coming, and that is just the reality of life, sometime life just throws us curveballs. When that happens, it is always good to have support of friends and family. Please let's help Tessy as she deals with this curveball.

I pray that the Almighty heal Tessy and rid her permanently of cancer or any other ailment, and i pray for everyone reading this, may you be free of illness, and worries. Amen.

P. S:  To donate or share Tessy's appeal, kindly visit  https://www.gofundme.com/2wjg42as 

Thank you
Asmau Eniola Yusuf (Neeolla)

Hello, i am back

Hello,

You know that nervousness you feel when you see or about to see perhaps an old friend after loosing contact for years? When you are not sure if you will still "click", when you are wondering if he or she has changed, or perhaps, you are the one that has changed? Well, some may know this feeling and some may not.

What has that got to do with me? Well, i sort of feel that way right now. I have been away from Neeollas Corner for so long, i do not know how to stage my come back post. I do not know how to start or what to say, trust me whatever you are reading now is the aftermath of lots of typing and deleting. I think owe an apology to all the friends, loved ones and audience that have faith in me and looked forward to my posts. I am sorry, i really am. I was away for a reason or two, within, and beyond my power.

Okay one of the main reasons i didn't post anything at some point was because of PRESSURE. Yes you read it right, not pressure from anybody but from myself. I put undue pressure on myself and i stopped typing or writing. This medium brain (i presume it's medium sized) has processed a lot of  ideas, stories, etc but i kept telling myself: it's not good enough, its not the right post, it's not the right time for this post, would it be appropriate etc.? On Facebook, i used to post random thoughts, experience, one-liners etc without thinking twice about it. It was my page, i was free and i think based on that, a number of friends encouraged me to put pen to paper, or should i say fingers on keyboard.

With Neeollas Corner, subconsciously, i stifled myself, i have a larger audience, (hopefully) so i wanted perfection, i set standards for myself and refused to post anything that falls below my imaginary standards.

So what has changed, i asked myself recently? I am the same person, Neeollas corner is as much my space as any of my social media pages. I had to talk to, and remind myself, i am not in competition with anyone. I write, or scribble because i enjoy it, and also because i have been encouraged by close family and friends to keep at it. Would i write if no one was reading it? Yes i will and i do. I scribble on notepads, my phone. I can't help it, it is what i do. But just because of the exposure, i allowed myself to be intimidated into silence. However, i have decided to keep at it, some days i will have interesting posts, some days dull or no post, some days long post and other days, i might just post a smiley to say i am very much around.

The essence of this long post is to encourage myself and others alike to learn to let go of inhibitions. Whoever and wherever you are, don't be stifled by the desire to fit in, to compete with another or impress people. Sometimes, the people are not even looking, but busy dealing with their own inner battles.

In the words of India Arie.."Just do you". Whatever it is you love or are passionate about, go ahead and do it, as long as it does not involve hurting another soul, and it is not any form of civil, moral or religious crime. Quit worrying about society, and what the ifs. The only thing that does, is stifle you.

That dream you have been chasing, if resources permit go right ahead and live it. It may or may not work as planned, ovation may or may not come. But the good feeling you get cannot be taken from you.

Okay, so after all is said and done, i want ovations, sitting, standing, clapping name it all. Yes we all can do with a word of encouragement.

Please read my next post, it is a somewhat personal and emotional one for me.

A little some

Hello,

I haven't been here for some days now thanks to the little going-ons in my life.

As usual, i have like a lot of stuff, i want to write and to be honest i have written many of them right there in my head, but getting it down in e-ink has just not happened, due to one thing or the other.

Anyways, pending when i am able to transfer the write ups in my head to actual posts, here's a little something i like to share.

Times will come when you are going through that phase when you struggle to appreciate happenings in your life, and dwell instead on what can, what could etc? When the devil, or some force would have you moan about the one thing in your life that is going south, the one thing(s) missing in your life, or your one last step to happiness.

Here's some word of encouragement:

Don't give in to that negative feeling, take time and reflect instead on the many blessings you enjoy, look around you and appreciate all that is going well for you. Remind yourself that life is in phases, and whatever hardship you are going through will surely pass. Also think about how many people out there that would give almost anything to have what you have.

Medications

Hi, sorry it's been quiet out here.

I was very busy this past week, and when not busy, I was taking a chill to reduce my headaches. Yes, I do get headaches from time to time but I mostly don't take anything for them except to drink lots of water, get some shut eye or soak my head in water and if all that fails, grab a pair of scissors and cut off my hair so the scalp can get "air time". I do occasionally take medications if it gets consistent, or unbearable. However, I prefer to not take medications.

Okay, not dwelling on headaches, treatments and causes here. I want to talk about Medications, or drugs as we  like to call it in my part of the world- Nigeria that is.

You may relate with this, if like me, you have a thing or two against meds, or you just might not.

I have more than a thing against prescription or over the counter medications. To me, there's just something very unappealing about those little, and sometimes not so little devils in tablets, or caplets form. Not only does looking at them turn me off, the smell of some, and most especially the bitterness just kills me.

I asked this question once: is there an unwritten law that medications have to be bitter and unappealing?. I remember loving this vitamin syrup - Becombion as a growing child. We all loved it, simply because it tasted nice. I mean I would happily pop pills if they were like skittles, Maltesers or even our back in the day GOGO. But no, they have to be rectangular, chalk-like, big circular tablets, and mini cylinders. I wonder if the pharmacists just decide, lets put this bitter stuff in it so the recipients can understand no pain no gain. Is the bitterness a primary component that cannot be tampered with? or there just has not been any thought put into making the medications tongue, and gut friendly.

I have had quite some experiences, I will share a couple:

Back in Secondary/High School, I had Malaria fever and went to the school clinic. The nurse on duty decided they were running low on injections to treat malaria; so because I did not look like I was about to pass out, she decided I was to be given Chloro-quine tablets. For those that were not 'fortunate' to know about Chloroquine tablet, it came in the form of tiny pills with the worst possible taste ever.  I tried to argue my case that I could not take it, but they were not having it. Eventually, I made an attempt to swallow the pills under the supervision of the nursing assistant, but it was a futile attempt as everything came right back out from my mouth and even my nose. I think it splashed at the attendant who sent me off angrily.

Same thing repeated itself on another occasion when I was given the same Chloroquine. You would think that after the second episode,if there was no injection available, the nurse would have nicely told me to go back to the hostel or maybe assign me a bed in the clinic to rest. We had an understanding, no Chloroquine or other tablets for me.

Over time I realized that I could not continue to dodge or spit out medications like a baby, so I made friends with Eba or any available food that could be molded nicely to hold my medications and swallow conveniently after taking a swirl in draw soup.

Life was good until a time, back in England, when I was in the hospital.I can't remember my specific complaint, but the doctor handed me some pills and  assigned a bed for me to rest till the 'Meds' took effect. For those that are familiar with the foreign way, you may have an idea of the size of the 'cup'  of water I was given to take the Meds. I didn't know what to do, so I asked for more water. The nurse gave me a surprised look, but nicely got me more water. So here I was, stranded in a hospital abroad, in need of my faithful Eba and soup but how do I tell this Oyinbo nurse? I knew I could not attempt to swallow and spit it all over the place as that would be very embarrassing. So I pretended. Drank just water and managed to wrap my meds in tissue and laid in bed. After 30 minutes or more, when the meds should have taken effect, the nurse came back to check on me. I lied that I was feeling better while hoping there was no way to test if the meds were really working.

After what seemed like forever, I was released to go home, armed with my pain and wrapped up medications. It wasn't until I got home that I was able to take the meds with Eba. Hubby did not quite get it. He found it ridiculous that I snuck my meds out of the hospital rather than take it immediately. He still doesn't get, in fact I doubt he ever will. But good thing is that he does not hassle me over it. As a matter of fact, he encourages me to make a batch of Eba on standby anytime I have meds to use for a couple of days.

Yup, that is me, that's just the way I'm wired. I hate meds, never liked it, never will. I can barely tolerate it and the few times I have taken meds without Eba, I did with perhaps more than half a bottle of juice and then I felt it stuck right in my throat. My doctors know that unless it's absolutely necessary, they don't give me tablet, or caplet medications.

Okay, if you are wondering why I am sharing this story, lets just say I am hoping

1. Someone would read this and be inspired to make the greatest invention of  
    our time - yummy replacement for every bitter medication out there.

2. This link will be shared till it gets to the right people who can and will make that invention.

And also because I am planning to soon share some home remedies I have tested, and some really unusual ones I have heard or read about.

 Here goes an unpaid announcement: Miss Tee, thanks for introducing me to 4head and if you're reading this, please be informed that i am out of stock, and would really really appreciate your help with new stock. Thank you.

My Child

Some things don't change in life

No matter what happens

Just like a monkey will be same always

To the mother, a child remains dear to her heart. Always!

My child will always be dear to me.

Sometimes, i want to hug my child and keep just to myself and no one else

I want to protect and shield my child from unknown forces

Other times, i am more than happy to introduce my child to all that cares

Not because i am proud and boastful

But because seeing people admire my child

brings joy to my heart and makes me smile, inside and outside

To everyone that has shown appreciation of my BRAINCHILD, i say thank you.

I had a dream - A poem

Many years ago

I had a dream

Not of gardens and fruits, nor of cakes and Sweets

I had a dream

Not of knights in shinning armour nor of mansion and castles

I had a dream

Not of a tall dark and handsome man

But of the perfect one of me

In my dream.........

he was smart, but not condescending

he was strong but not violent

he was kind, yet firm

he was fun, yet focused

he was hardworking and responsible

he was faithful, and committed

he was patient enough to know and understand me

he looked at me, and was rid of all doubts

he knew i was the ONE, as i him

So when my dream became reality

It was not hard to recognise

Not the perfect man, but the perfect man for me.

The man of my dreams

ABOUT MY AMAZING MOTHER IN-LAW - LONG POST

Hi,

If i shared a post that i have an amazing mum, you may be wowed or not, simply because she is my mother, and it is expected that a mother sacrifices for her child, but i  believe if i say my mother in-law is amazing and deserves a blog post, you would want to know my reasons.

I shared this story about my Mother in-love on a private group, so i reckon why not share same to a larger audience.

I prefer to refer to her as Mother in-love, because she has shown me uncommon love.

I would start from the very beginning and pick pockets of events that showcase her awesomeness.

Hubby while we were dating, mentioned that the only thing his mum can't stand is laziness,"if you are not lazy, you can't have a problem with her". I am neither lazy, nor super hardworking but I know what's due morally and culturally, so I wasn't fazed by that.

MEET THE PARENTS- On my first visit to the house,she had prepared her signature Egusi soup, after pleasantries, she went to the kitchen to pound yam for us. I offered (jokingly) to help her with the pounding, knowing fully well that I couldn't pound if my life depended on it. She refused out rightly and hubby told her not to mind me as I didn't know how to. She laughed without taking offence at me and my 'joke' and sent us off to the living room.

THE WEDDING- After Nikkah (Muslim wedding rites), a day prior to the wedding reception, culturally I was expected to sleep over at theirs since the union had been solemnized. MIL knew how much I preferred to go sleep at the hotel, so she arranged with my best friends and a family member to sneak me out without the knowledge of the women and extended family members that were around for the wedding. Yeah how cool is that?

FIRST PREGNANCY- MIL moved in with us about a month to my EDD with the view that i can pop anytime in between. During the wait, she asked to be shown around my kitchen ahead of my delivery, so she can sort cooking. She went with me for my weekly appointments at the hospital, a fan believer in pre-delivery exercise, we took daily walks within the estate, gisting, discovering beautiful architectural works inside Lekki. on one of such walks, my slippers cut and MIL insisted that I swap with hers, I refused but she was adamant, stating my pregnant condition as excuse. I almost cried but I made do with thanking and praying for her.

To shorten this episode,I put to bed via cesarean almost a month after her arrival, she bath both baby and I, washed my panties and cooked. I have a phobia for circumcision, but she happily took him in for circumcision; I refused to go near my son's diaper, i couldn't even look at or nurse his  circumcised penis till he was completely healed. She did all that. When I had infection on the CS site, she was with me all through the hospital visits, she would ask me to express breast milk so I could sleep while she feeds him, she spent a total 3 months with us, only took a week break in-between to spend time with her hubby while my mum took over. Mum is a school principal so couldn't take long periods off work.

2ND PREGNANCY- Same old routine only this time it's February and in cold weather London. I remember when she said we should start the stroll like we used to, I didn't feel up to it, but she kept saying I shouldn't be lazy. Off we went but after some minutes of chilly wind she suggested we go back home )) I got home told hubby and we both teased her just a little.

Anyone that knows me well, knows my addiction to noodles, but imagine my sweetest surprise when like hour or more after I left recovery, MIL came bearing a cooler of hot noodles. She said she knows how much i love it, but she hoped that she made it to my taste. Trust me she would naturally prefer to pound yam or something but she simply brought what was to my liking. She actually wanted to follow me to the operating theatre, but hubby had to,while she watched over our first child.

As usual circumcision runs,bathing, washing, cooking were sorted by her. Weeks after my surgery, I insisted on bathing myself, I did, and came out the bathroom feeling dizzy and she blamed me for not letting her bathe me. I resolved after a while and when she had to do Medical check ups to resume cooking and that was about 2 weeks before her return to Nigeria. And just before she left she made us a large pot of Egusi to last us for weeks after she had gone.

3RD PREGNANCY- Similar routine, mum was able to spend more time this time, especially after I had complications and had to go in for corrective surgery days after the CS. Tough time it was (another long story) and both mums gave their 190%.

Is that all my MIL does? NO.

She once told hubby to make sure he gives time to the children's homework and stuff and stop being all work work work.

When I was without help for like a month and with 3 boys to attend to. MIL will talk to hubby that he can't leave the task to me alone. Afterward she will call to tell me, she has spoken to him and hopes he's complying.

During my sister's wedding, I stayed at my parents for the period, MIL brought food over for me, and naturally my long throat sisters too.

She makes it a point of duty to thank hubby and I, for everything myself or even hubby gives her. It doesn't matter if I was there when he gives her, if she calls, she is saying thank you to me as well. No entitlement mentality whatsoever.

My mum adores,respects and prays for her. She refers to her as her big sister. My dad says she is a very wonderful mother in-law. My parents both speak well and pray for my parents in-love as they are both amazing.

My FIL is the real MVP. He has 4 boys and a girl. Over 10 years ago, he went to Saudi Arabia for hajj and bought jewelry for his daughter and guess who else? He bought 4 sets of jewelry for his sons' future wives. At that time, they barely had girlfriends. So now that I am blessed with all boys, I have decided I'd keep buying jewelry, by God's grace my first gift to my DILs will be a pair of 'vintage' gold earrings.

And hubby's only sister?!!! She's phenomenal, let's just say I have the most amazing in-laws

Okay I don't and can't thank her enough, but I do pray for her and them all. I also pray that I am blessed with the right resources to do as much as she did or more.(at least be able to afford hands to the physical ones, because even at this age, I can't match her energy levels). I pray as I age, I don't forget what I enjoyed and that my DIL will one day say nice things about me.

My MIL is Nigerian, Yoruba, Kwaran, Offa (with tribal marks actually), and she is amazeballs.

So here i am saying, a good woman is a good woman irrespective of their
One thing I know for sure is she has a good relationship with her hubby, so i guess there's no room for bitterness or transferred aggression.

Thumbs to the amazing in-laws out there, may we have them, may we know them, may we be them